Life in Israel after the Aliyah book - The humor, the poignancy, the madness - it’s all in the blog.
The landscape had changed quite suddenly. Out of the blue, my sister Hindy’s Ramat Bet Shemesh neighborhood of stone-faced duplexes, synagogues and schools sported a huge, white tent-like structure on a hill near her house. Puzzled, we imagined it was for a big bar-mitzvah. We were astonished to discover that in fact it was Read the rest of this entry »
A friend just recounted a really great story. His son, who is in the army, recently was married. His son’s commander had given permission for three guys from base to take a 12 hour leave to be at the wedding. As there was travel time in both directions, and duties up until the moment of departure, the soldiers had to leave as they were - in uniform, sweaty and smelly.
My friend had organized for a regular taxi to pick up the guys at the base, travel the two hours or so, and bring them directly to the wedding. As they were driving through Jerusalem, the taxi driver, who realized that the soldiers hadn’t even had time to shower, decided to take a detour to one of the plentiful natural springs that dot the landscape. He handed the guys a bottle of shampoo, and sent them to bathe while he sat there and waited - on his own dime. Three freshly bathed soldiers arrived happily at the wedding.
Where else in the world do such stories occur??
(Translated from English by an anonymous friend) לורה בן דוד
קודם כל, מה זה “טרמפ”?
לאלה הגרים ביישובים, קיבוצים ומושבים וכדו’ זהו חלק אינטגרלי מהחיים, והסיבה לא לקנות אוטו או להעביר כסף לאגד.
אמנם יש לי אוטו, אבל מאחר ולעיתים קרובות אני רוצה לחסוך בהוצאות, אני נוסעת בטרמפים (אני גם לוקחת טרמפיסטים איתי, ולעיתים קרובות שתי הפעולות האלה קורות באותו היום).
כפי שהסבירו לי בנותיי, השגת טרמפים דורשת מיומנות רבה. כאשר ממתינים בטרמפיאדה, חשוב לעמוד במקום על שפת הכביש שבו מרבית הנוסעים למקום היעד שלך יעצרו. כנראה שידע זה הוא מעין חוש שישי לצברים, אבל קשה מאד לעולים מחו”ל בגילים מבוגרים יותר לפתח חוש זה.
חשוב לדעת את הסימנים בהם משתמשים לעצור טרמפים כדי שהנהג לא יצטרך לעצור ולשאול לאן רוצים להגיע. במקום זה, מסמנים עם הידיים לאן נוסעים. אצבע מופנית למטה משמעותה נסיעה בסביבה הקרובה, ואצבע מופנית לכיוון אחר מהכיוונים השונים מסמלת נסיעה לכיוון ההוא, אבל למרחק רחוק יותר. ואז, כאשר הנהג עובר במהירות ללא לעצור, יש את הסימן המנצח של קפיצה לתוך נתיב הנסיעה של המכונית וכך לוודא שהנהג יעצור. הערה: יש כמה סכנות הכרוכות בנוהל זה.
First of all, you may be asking, “What in heaven’s name is a tremp?”
For the uninitiated, in Israel a tremp (adapted from the European slang “tramp” but with an Israeli accent) is basically a ride for the carless or the cheap. Also known as hitchhiking in other parts of the world, in Israel this cultural mainstay is almost an informal carpool system. As I do have a car but I am often cheap, I have found myself to be both a tremper and a giver of tremps; often on the same day.
Tremping, as my daughters have taught me, is a fine art form. While standing at a ‘trempiada’ (place where trempers wait for potential rides) it is important to be standing at the part of the curb where the people going to your destination are most likely to stop. Apparently this knowledge is somewhat of a sixth sense for Israelis, but what those who immigrate as adults never seem to cultivate.
It is important to know sign language when tremping so that the driver need not stop and ask you where you are going; rather he can make meaningful gestures that clearly indicate where he is heading. These gestures include pointing downwards with his index finger, signifying that he is staying in the area. Or else he can point in one direction or another, indicating that he is going in that direction, but further away. Then, as he’s zooming by, if the tremper is planning on heading in the same direction, he can use the sign language of throwing his whole body in front of the car to be sure the driver stops to let him on. This is a dangerous practice I might add.
There are a number of signs used by drivers when they can’t/won’t pick up trempers. Hand held out, palm-down, waved from side to side indicates a full car. Rotating the index finger in a circle indicates that the driver is not actually going anywhere, just ‘around the block’. I have not yet figured out the signs for ‘I’m not in the mood to pick you up’, ‘I’m in too much of a rush’, ‘I am talking privately in my car and don’t want you listening in’ or any of the other reasons that inspire guilt, yet not enough guilt to slow down and actually give someone a lift. To assuage my guilt, I will usually use a made-up hand motion so that they think that they simply did not understand what I was saying, but that I wasn’t just ignoring them…
But I digress. The other morning a friend and I were in a tremp (as trempers – it was a cheap day) and a fellow tremper got into the car and began to do something so revolting that it inspired me to write the Top 5 Things NEVER to do in a Tremp. And they are:
#5: Talk loudly on your phone
Common courtesy should indicate that as the recipient of a ride in someone’s car the tremper should be seen and not heard, speak only when spoken to, and be otherwise virtually non-existent. The occasional tremper who thinks it is perfectly fine to hold loud, boisterous conversations on the phone in my car will find himself persona non grata the next time I pass him at the trempiada…
#4: Step on the driver’s groceries
Why would someone do this? Are they totally oblivious? Or do they know I’m making scrambled eggs later and are trying to save me a step?
#3: Smell badly
Now this is a serious offense. If you can’t shower and wash your clothing regularly, then you cannot tremp. It is as simple as that. I once picked up a few guys who were tremping and one of them smelled so badly I didn’t think I would get the stench out of my car EVER. My son, who was four at the time, diplomatically announced, “Mommy, what’s that gross smell?”
#2: Throw up
When I felt the need to be sick in a tremp, I practically had the driver drop me off in the middle of the street. Isn’t this what common courtesy dictates? I was not so lucky when I was the driver. On the holiday of Purim I picked up a few trempers at the entrance to Neve Daniel where I live. One of the passengers was clearly intoxicated. (Of course this was only clear once he was in the car and I was on the road). Okay, I will spare you the details, but luckily he had a bag. Lesson learned: never pick up ANY trempers on Purim…
And the number one thing that you should never, ever do in a tremp is:
#1: Clip your fingernails
That’s right, you heard me correctly. It was a nail-clipping tremper who inspired this whole article. My friend and I were sitting in the back seat in a tremp when another guy jumped in. We were minding our own business when out of the corner of my eye I saw that he was carefully doing something with his hands. I did a double-take and was STUNNED that he had actually pulled out a nail clipper and was going at it, nail by nail, without catching the clippings!! My friend and I looked at each other, flabbergasted, and not a little bit sick to our stomachs. Of course what makes this the number one tremping offense is the high likelihood of causing the number two offense in others, which will MOST DEFINITELY generate offense number three.
Happy tremping!
© 2009, Laura Ben-David
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Laura Ben-David is the author of MOVING UP: An Aliyah Journal (Mazo Publishers). Laura began writing when she made Aliyah in 2002, and hasn’t stopped. To order MOVING UP, send an email to info@aliyahbook.com.
Movin’ On Up! – the Aliyah blog.
So I was speaking to a new Olah recently about her experiences. As her Hebrew is decent, and she is very organized, she expected things to go smoothly.
The other day she went to sign up for Ulpan. She gathered her Teudat Oleh and the Ulpan voucher and headed over to meet with the Ulpan director. All was going fine until she confidently handed over her documents, only to be told that the ‘voucher’ she brought was the contract for her exterminator!
When I was eight years old I was going to grow up to be President of the United States. When that dream was hatched, Jimmy Carter was president. Not that he, in particular, was my role model – that was more likely Lincoln or Washington. However Carter inhabited the office at the time, and was therefore someone of great achievement – certainly to an eight-year old.
Many more dreams and aspirations later and I find myself living one of my biggest dreams - living in the Land of Israel. It was neither political nor ideological motives that led us to choose Neve Daniel, in the Gush Etzion region, as our new home almost seven years ago. The red-roofed villas nestled on a mountain-top; the stunning views, warm community, proximity to Jerusalem, as well as the excellent school district were all chief factors in our decision. And so, it never fails to shock me when the occasional person will react to where I live by puckering their lips like they just tasted a lemon, and say, “Ooh, is that a settlement?”
I’m never quite sure how to answer that politically-charged question. What does the answer “Yes” mean to them? That I’m a hippie living in a commune of caravans? That I live on land that I stole from Arabs? That I pitched a tent in the hills, and I stand guard over my brood like Annie Oakley? Of course I know exactly what the question means. But do they? Most likely, if they asked the question they do not.
Since Obama’s famous Cairo address the settlement issue has become a very hot topic. Obama’s demand for “these settlements to stop” has caused quite a commotion on our side of the Atlantic. Everything from, “Who is he to demand anything from us?” to “You go, Obama! You da man!” has been heard over here. I cynically wondered if my neighbors would immediately stop building their homes, and send all of the Arab builders away, unemployed, and at Obama’s behest.
For the purpose of this article, I looked up “settlement” in Wikepedia. I found it rather interesting that there is an entry for “human settlement” (permanent community where people live) and a different entry for “Israeli settlement” (communities inhabited by Israeli Jews in territory that came under Israel’s control as a result of the 1967 Six-Day War). This is to say that Israeli settlements are not permanent? Or perhaps that Israelis are not actually human? But of course Israel has always been held to a different standard than the rest of the world. Why should this be any different? Europe had colonialism; United States had Manifest Destiny, and Israel? We build settlements on land we won, in a war we didn’t want, and we are Occupiers? Mind you, the land was won from Egypt, Jordan and Syria. Not one parcel was won from a country called “Palestine”…but I digress.
While I never made it to the Oval Office, many from the Oval Office have made it to Israel. But, to the best of my knowledge, they have never before come to visit ‘a settlement’. It was therefore with a feeling of astonishment and guarded optimism that I heard about former President Jimmy Carter’s impending visit to our little neighborhood (a.k.a. settlement) of Neve Daniel.
I was amazed and impressed that Carter was going to be visiting Shaul Goldstein, the mayor of our region of Gush Etzion, and a personal friend of ours. It seemed to come from left field. Carter, a known settlement critic, was coming out to meet with Shaul? At his house, in my neighborhood? Regardless of my feelings about Carter and his track record, this unlikely meeting was exciting. Many were worried that no good could come out of such an event, but always the optimist I felt that if anyone could make something constructive out of such a meeting, it was Shaul Goldstein.
My optimism did not prepare me for the positive outcome, when Carter famously declared, “This particular settlement is not one that I envision ever being abandoned, or changed over into a Palestinian territory. This is part of the close settlements to the 1967 line that I think will be here forever.” Now mind you, I am not naïve enough to imagine that what an 85-year old former president says will have any real effect on the policy of the half-his-age current president who just laid down his very-hard-line on the subject. But it can’t hurt. And quite honestly, it was a breath of fresh air.
How exactly did it come about? Shaul told me that he explained to Carter the history of Israel from biblical times until today, including all of Judea and Samaria. He told him his personal story, and he told him about the people who live here. And he told him how different we are from how we are perceived. He told him the four basic principles we follow: We do not hate Arabs; we are not afraid of them; we never take their privately-held land; and we provide them the opportunities to support themselves with dignity. Finally, he told him that it’s a shame that more people do not come to visit to see what it is really like here. One way or another, somehow he managed to garner Carter’s approval.
Of course this does not solve the problem that many world leaders have now joined the Obama bandwagon demanding an absolute freeze on even natural growth in all the Israeli settlements. I wonder, what about all of the pregnant women who live in them, myself included, who have our own impending natural growth? Shall we manage our population the Chinese way? Or can our population grow provided we all keep our status-quo living conditions, even if it means putting 4, 5 or 6+ kids into one bedroom?
As I watch my own natural expansion, and wonder what the future holds, I think back to my childhood dream. This future child that I’m carrying, while he will be a US citizen, will be born in Israel. Now that may disqualify him from ever being president of the United States; but who knows? He just might grow up to be the president of Israel. Now that would be a great achievement.
© 2009, Laura Ben-David
Laura Ben-David is the author of MOVING UP: An Aliyah Journal (Mazo Publishers). Laura began writing when she made Aliyah in 2002, and hasn’t stopped. To order MOVING UP, send an email to info@aliyahbook.com.
Yom Ha’atzmaut - Israel’s Independence Day - has always been special in my heart. Well since the first time I heard of it in 8th grade that is. Back then the non-Zionistic school I went to simply never mentioned it rather than giving us their negative perspective. So when, at age 13, I discovered the existence of this holiday, I rallied my friends to don blue and white and bring in homemade Israeli flags for the occasion. Big mistake! We got into lots of trouble. But the lasting impression was made, and I never spent another Yom Ha’atzmaut in a non-Zionistic environment.
Of course there was nothing like the anticipation of our first Yom Ha’atzmaut in Israel as Israelis, 6 years ago. Pregnant and nearly due with my youngest child, I thought the date would make a great birthday for him. Little did I expect him to go along with my plans. Besides, I had a very exciting event to attend. In Israeli communities such as ours, a moving Yom Ha’atzmaut ceremony is de rigueur. In Neve Daniel the two traditional flag dances are performed by the children in kindergarten and by the 7th graders. As my oldest daughter Shira was in the 7th grade I was bursting with excitement to watch my child be a part of this moving Yom Ha’atzmaut celebration. Alas, it was not to be – but for the best of reasons. Apparently taking my wishes to heart, my son Yaakov arrived Read the rest of this entry »
A whole year has passed since the brutal murder of eight young students at the Mercaz Harav yeshiva. The horrifying events of that evening instantly made the iconic institution more well-known for the tragedy than for nearly a century producing elite Torah scholars. That terrible night, and the heart-wrenching funeral the next morning, are emblazoned in my memory for so many reasons. The brutality, the youthful innocence of the victims, the tear-streaked faces of the thousands who came to pay their respects and the fact that my own neighbor was one of the victims all struck me like a physical blow. As a parent, I felt anguish and grief knowing that the parents of eight young people would never hug their child again.
Rabbi Elishav and Moriah Avichayil were two of those parents. Living just blocks away from me, the modest and unassuming couple’s life was to be changed in a way no parent should ever have to experience. Although I had never met them, like countless strangers who were driven to comfort these eight families during the shiva week, I paid a visit to the Avichayil family. I timidly joined the crowds overflowing from their front door as I craned my neck to get a glimpse of the grieving parents of Segev P’niel Avichayil Hy”d. I was afraid of what I would see and hear, but I never expected to hear them comfort their visitors. With a strength I could never have summoned they were reassuring people, speaking words of Torah, and unwavering faith. I thought I had come to comfort them, but it turned out that the opposite was true.
I never had the pleasure of meeting Segev. I thought I would never have another chance. Through an unforeseen chain of events I had the rare opportunity to get a glimpse of the extraordinary young man who was Segev, through the eyes of his parents. Read the rest of this entry »
By: Yishai G (reserve soldier) - this letter has been making the email circuits. It is fantastic, and deserves to be read and forwarded!
Hello,
While the world watches the ruins in Gaza, you return to your home which remains standing. However, I am sure that it is clear to you that someone was in your home while you were away.
I am that someone.
I spent long hours imagining how you would react when you walked into your home. How you would feel when you understood that IDF soldiers had slept on your mattresses and used your blankets to keep warm.
I knew that it would make you angry and sad and that you would feel this violation of the most intimate areas of your life by those defined as your enemies, with stinging humiliation. I am convinced that you hate me with unbridled hatred, and you do not have even the tiniest desire to hear what I have to say. At the same time, it is important for me to say the following in the hope that there is even the minutest chance that you will hear me.
I spent many days in your home. You and your family’s presence was felt in every corner. I saw your family portraits on the wall, and I thought of my family. I saw your wife’s perfume bottles on the bureau, and I thought of my wife. I saw your children’s toys and their English language schoolbooks. I saw your personal computer and how you set up the modem and wireless phone next to the screen, just as I do.
I wanted you to know Read the rest of this entry »